Misc SMS

Sun07Nov10

Patient complaints to Doctor,
“I have incur this sickness, I  can’t hear anything my wife says.”

Happy Doctor says, “Call it a blessings of Lord, not a disease to cure. So no medicine for you.”

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Why do most Indian women pray God to give her the same husband not only for the next incarnation but seven after this?

Guru Ghantal explained, “Because all the efforts they took to train that  knucklehead this life should not go to waste for long time.”

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And  then GOD Said, “My dear humans I cannot be everywhere for you, so I created MOTHER for you.”

And Devil laughed, “Yes, I cannot be everywhere for you too, so I created MOTHER-IN-LAW for you.”

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Lalawa’s son was filling an application for job under dad’s guidance.
One question asked was, “Your Mother Tongue”
Dumb Son asked dad, ”Dad what should I write here?”
Lalawa, “Son write in big case letter,  ‘LONG, BITCHY,  AND UNTAMED’”

Son got the Job.

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Guru Ghantal and Lalawa were on adjacent seats in first class on a plane. Alcohol was being served and Guru Ghantal and Lalawa were offered the alcoholic free drinks by pretty hostess.

Guru Ghantal refused, “ I would rather be raped by tens of whores than let Alcohol touch my tongue.”

Lalawa immediately followed, “Yes ma’am me too, I did not know we had a choice of free whore over free alcohol, bring them in please”

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A man enjoying sunbath naked at beach with his hat over his private part was retorted by an old lady, “A Gentleman lifts his hat for a woman you rascal.”

The man replied, “Yes ma’am my hat is programmed to lift  automatically for a sexy and beautiful woman which you are not.”

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