Hobbies Destroyed by Technology

Sun28Aug11

For the record, Im not a Luddite. I dig technology I really do. But, dammit, some of the things from the good old days were just flat out better. Dont argue with me, son. Ill prove it to you.

1. Reading Paper Books

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Amazon.Com reported selling 22 million eBooks in 2010. It was the first and it wont be the last year that Amazon sold more eBooks than real books. Meanwhile, libraries have resorted to hiring actual corpses, finding them more than capable of handling current visitor counts.

2. Making a Mix-Tape

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I lost my V on Valentines Day. I gave her a mix-tape that I made on a boom box. She was very appreciative. From what my little brothers tell me, sharing iTunes playlists (todays equivalent of a mix-tape) isnt nearly as effective.

3. Playing Board Games

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Ask any kid if he plays Monopoly on an actual board and hell kick you in the gonads for your insolence. If he plays at all, itd be on a screen.
But more than likely he doesnt even play virtual board games; hes too busy splattering digital brain matter across the wall in the latest ultraviolent video game. The thrills of buying Boardwalk and Park Place cant even come close.

4. Taping off the radio

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Believe it or not, there was a time when new song debuts were a big deal. Youd run to the radio and mash down the RECORD button, just to hold over until the CD (or record?) came out.
Now its all about bittorrent directories (Pirate Bay) and P2P software (Kazaa) and file hosting sites (Rapid Share). And maybe not so coincidentally, albums now have about the same excitement and market value as a bag full of kaka.

5. Farming

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There are between 3 and 6 million active farmers in the United States. There are over 80 million active users on Farmville. Need I say more?

6. Sending Letters

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Casanova wouldve committed suicide were he born this century. No more love letters to be sent; emails and text messages full of smiley faces and acronyms are the method of the day. No wonder mailmen are going postal, postage prices are going up and college kids have the grammatical grasp of a half-developed coconut tree.

7. Sketching & Painting

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Van Gogh created about 50,000 paintings in his lifetime. Most artists today dont even create one. The Photoshop-fueled graphic artist industry is all about pushing pixels around a screen. Such is progress.

8. Dating

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Meeting people in person is played out. Its much easier to post a few pictures on ENTER-YOUR-FAVORITE-DATING-WEBSITE-HERE. Then all you have to do is squeeze as many smileys and LOLs and ROFLs as possible into your profile and direct messages. The thrill of the hunt, the tension of chance encounters, the warmth of live conversation are all dead sensations.

9. Spinning Vinyl

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In the past, the DJ would juggle records, diving into crates like a frenzied monkey and cutting the mixer harder than white lines. These days, DJs plug their iBook into the stereo system and hit play. Whered the funk go?

10. Collecting Records

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Vinyl isnt even safe in the house of the music lover any more. Internet radio (Slacker, Last FM, Pandora, etc.) put the kibosh on that. Some of them use your preferences to choose future songs to play; eventually, every song is your favorite song. When did it become cool to have a computer think for you?

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