1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call that mean they have something more important to attend to.

2. When someone drops something on the floor by mistake or drops food from the plate or doesn’t know how to use a knife/fork don’t stare at them. The same goes to people sneezing, coughing or even an uncontrollable fart. It’s an involuntary reaction.

3. Always skip using the washroom beside the occupied one. It makes it uneasy for the person in the occupied washroom as well as yourself if you occupy the one right next to theirs.

4. Return money that you have borrowed even before the other person remembers lending it to you. Be it 1Rs or 100Rs. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pen, lunch boxes, books.

5. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you for lunch/dinner. If possible ask them to order their choice of food for you.

6. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ For god’s sake it isn’t your problem.

7. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. Doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.

8. If you take a taxi with a friend, and he/she pays now, you pay next time.

9. Respect different political opinions.

10. Don’t call people on the phone very late if it’s not really important.

11. Never interrupt people talking.

12. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again.

13. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

14. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.

15. If you’re talking to someone and notice any of the following, they’re trying to end the conversation: Their eyes keep darting away. They angle their body away from you. They give you rapid one-word answers.

16. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.

17. If you’re getting a long flight or train, shower before. The person next to you will appreciate it.

18. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.

19. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say hope you’re ok. If they want to talk about it they will and you don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness.

20. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rudely you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect.

21. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.

22. Never give advice until you’re asked

23. Do not make plans in front of those you are not involving.

24. Don’t talk to someone if they are wearing headphones.

25. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary.

26. When a friend/colleague offers you some food, you can politely say No. But, don’t do this after tasting or smelling it. It’s an insult to the one who has offered it to you

27. When someone starts talking about their ailments, don’t start talking about yours.

28. When someone you know has an obvious change in appearance, e.g., weight gain/loss, bald spot, acne. never comment on it until they talk about it to you, they already know what is happened to them.

29. Never kiss a baby that’s not yours.

30. Mind your own business unless anything involves you directly — just stay out of it.

31. Do not view every post on Facebook as an opportunity to argue/debate, even if does not conform to your views or beliefs.

*Credits to the content writers. Not my original content, uploaded as received ;-)

Can it get any geographically punnier than this?

Timmy : I’m Hungary,.

Mum : Why don’t you Czech the fridge.

Timmy : Ok, I’m Russian to the kitchen.

Mum : Hmm…maybe you’ll find some Turkey.

Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck !

Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy : I know, I guess I’ll just have a can of Chile.

Mum : Denmark your name on the can.

Timmy : Kenya do it for me?

Mum : Ok , I’m Ghana do it.

Timmy : Thanks, i’m so tired Iran for an hour today.

Mum : It Tokyo long enough.

Timmy : Yeah, Israelly hard sometimes !

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem

2. If you’ve a beautiful wife, make sure your neighbour doesn’t use a deodorant in your absence.

3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.

4. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

5. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

6. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewellery/textile shop.

7. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.

8. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

9. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs.10

10. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.

11. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.

12. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.

13. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but don’t complain about roads in India.

14. You can’t eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over your face.

15. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.

16. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.

17. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD’s and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.

18. The only thing mothers and daughters talk to each other is usually about hair oil.

19. No matter what kind of expert one is, he’ll always wear a white laboratory coat.

And, finally

20.Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting. (To be Read in one breath)

😂😂

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