15 Signs That You Are Surrounded By Good Friends

An old saying goes, “Surround yourself with the people you want to be like.” Successful people want to surround themselves with successful people. Optimists like to be around optimists. How can you tell if you’re hanging around with the right group of friends for you? Here are 15 signs that you are surrounded by good friends who care about you and not just what you can do for them!

1. Your friends listen to you.

A good friend can tell when you need an ear, or just to take the floor for a few minutes and talk something out. More importantly still, they help you determine where you have good, solid, actionable ideas and where they think you’re a little off base.

2. Your friends care about you.

Good friends take the time to ask about your life, your interests, and your opinions. They also take the time to be there when you need them, and want to help you be the best person you can be.

3. Your friends know when to throw a party.

There’s nothing wrong with blowing off a little steam, celebrating a milestone, or just making an event happen “because.” A group of friends who are really in tune with your needs know exactly when and how to party without taking it to extremes or getting you involved with anything illegal or uncomfortable.

4. Your friends know when to end a party.

Even the best party has to end eventually, and good friends can tell when it’s time to leave. If someone’s getting drunk and belligerent, or you’ve been yawning for the last half hour, they will understand it’s time to call it a night and leave gracefully.

5. You feel like your friends have your best interests at heart.

You may not always agree with what your friends say or their perceptions of a situation. However, they’re always thinking of what’s best for you in the long run. This can be a tricky line to walk, and sometimes you have an obligation to ignore the advice of others. Nevertheless, a good friend will be less worried about sparing your feelings than looking out for you.

6. Your friends support you.

Even when you do something your friends don’t agree with, if they’re really good friends, they will support whatever you decide to do, within reason. They may not agree or like what you’re doing, like moving across the country to snag a good-paying job, but they’ll be there with the pizza and beer while you load up the truck!

7. You always hear the truth from them.

Good friends don’t lie. (Except on rare occasions of the “Does this dress make me look fat?” sort. Those kinds of lies don’t count, because they are intended to spare your feelings.) When the chips are down and you really need to be told the truth, your friends may hate it…but they’ll do it. This applies in situations like when your friends tell you maybe you’re partying a little too much or working too hard. If they tell you something like this, they’re speaking from the heart. You owe it to them and your friendship to listen.

8. Your friends check in on you.

A good friend cares about the people close to them. If they don’t hear from you periodically, they pick up the phone or even send an email. “Dude, where you at? Everything okay?” This doesn’t mean they constantly worry about you, because sometimes people get sick or busy and life happens. But they do take the time to let you know they’re thinking about you.

9. Your friends know when to leave you alone.

Sometimes you just want (or need) to be left alone. Work assignments, homework, or relationship woes can all leave you feeling like you just need a little downtime to work out your situation. A good friend understands and respects this. They’ll make it clear that they’re available if and when you need them, but they also understand that everyone needs alone time once in a while. Conversely, they also know you well enough to say, “Enough’s enough!” and drag you out of the house by your hair if necessary!

10. You don’t feel like you always have to reciprocate.

A good friendship doesn’t come with a balance sheet. While you should always try to give as good as you get from your friends, that doesn’t mean you or they should feel obligated every single time. The point of a friendship is to be there as much as you can, when you can, to the fullest extent you can. Sometimes that means Jim picks up the beer, while you bring the pretzels. Sometimes Josh throws the party and you pitch in with the cleanup. Sooner or later in a good friendship, the books will balance naturally and intuitively, without either side having to do anything except be themselves.

11. You can call your friends anytime you need them.

Let’s put some rules on “anytime.” This does not mean three in the morning, unless someone is dead! Within reason, however, and during the hours when you KNOW they’ll be awake, you can call and say, “Hey…you got a few minutes? I need an ear.” If they say, “Not now, but let me call you back,” then respect that. If they’re willing to sacrifice time to help you out, it’s only fair that they should be able to do it on their schedule, especially for those who have “real jobs.”

12. Your friends feel like they can call you when they need you.

Part of being a good friend is being available, and this applies just as much to you as it does your friends. A friend who feels like you’re available for them when needed is more likely to be there for you when you need them!

13. Your friends celebrate your victories and help you get over your setbacks.

Milestones deserve to be celebrated, and misery loves company. A good friend will congratulate you on your accomplishments and achievements without letting you rest on your laurels. Similarly, a good friend won’t let you wallow in self-pity when things go a little sideways. A good friend will celebrate or commiserate with you as appropriate, always asking the question, “So what’s next?”

14. Your friends see you for who you are.

We all wear masks and put on a show in our public lives, whether we choose to admit it or not. A good friend sees beyond the mask or the front and looks at the real person behind them. You can tell a good friend because they’re not afraid to call you out on your front, but they still want to be around you even when what’s behind it isn’t always the nicest, kindest, or best person. A good friend inspires you to be and do better than you are, but cares for you because of who and what you are.

15. Your friends tell you when you’re making a mistake.

No one likes to hear it when they screw up. That’s just human nature. However, a true friend is able to tell you you’re making a mistake without making a federal case of it. People who love you and support you even when they don’t necessarily agree with you are the kind of friends that are worth keeping, no matter where life takes you.

– J.S. Wayne

Originally at http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-signs-that-you-are-surrounded-good-friends.html

Key to Marriage

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
“Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.”

10 Signs Its Time t o Leave Your Job

Do you get into the office without a plan of action for the day? Are you not being rewarded for your efforts? Does your boss often pull you down and embarrass you in front of colleagues?

If any or all of these ring true, it might be time to shake things up.

Here are 10 signs that could indicate that its time for you to move on either from your current job function or from your organization to other adventures.

1. Social networking but not working

Are Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter taking up more of your working day than preparing that PowerPoint presentation? If your company doesnt allow access to these sites, perhaps your energies are focused on finding proxy sites which allow you to access sites that have been blocked by your company.

Or, do you simply dread coming to office and wait for the day to end quickly?

If this happens some days a week, then maybe you simply need a holiday. But if one spends more than a month populating Farmville on Facebook, then yes, its stagnation and you need to move on, says Purvi Sheth, chief executive officer of Mumbai management consulting firm Shilpusti Consultants.

2. Been there, done that

If your job has become so routine or monotonous that you can do most of it without thinking much, what are you doing in it? Essentially, you are not learning much or growing in that role, so you wont be able to stay motivated for long. Careers are not ponds, they are streams; they have got to be going somewhere from somewhere, says Dony Kuriakose, director of Delhi-based recruitment firm Edge Executive Search Pvt. Ltd. If youre not moving, youre dead in the water.

Remember that if you have become too complacent and start taking the company for granted, your employer will soon recognize that, putting your role in jeopardy.

3. Not challenged enough

This is related to the point above. But if you feel that your organization is not giving you the right exposure or a challenging enough position, you could end up becoming very frustrated. Take the initiative of engaging with (your) employer andask for more responsibilities, says Pankaj Arora, managing director of Protiviti Consulting Pvt. Ltd, a business consulting and audit firm. If that doesnt work, look for challenges elsewhere within or outside your organization.

4. Unmet goals

You want to become a team leader or a business head but your employer is moving you around into different departments without really promoting you. It is time for you to move on when you feel your career objectives are not being met or fulfilled by your employer, says Ms. Sheth.

5. Too big for your shoes

You were good at your first job, so you were promoted to the next level and the next level and so on. But now you have reached a position which is too much for you to handle. This is popularly referred to as the Peter Principle which states that in a hierarchy, employees rise to a level of their incompetence.

Either you need to re-skill and reinvent yourself pretty quickly to survive in that role or you need to move into another position which is a better fit for you.

6. Closed to change

Todays organizations are nimble on their feet and are often changing their processes or businesses to meet delivery and cost pressures. If you cant handle that change because you are too set in your ways, you could end up getting left behind. Or, maybe you dont agree with your organizations changes at a philosophical or an ethical level. There are certain reasons why you work at a place and there are certain things that enthuse you, says Mr. Kuriakose. If those core issues change and you suddenly find that youre working for a place that you wouldnt have joined it might be time to rethink.

7. Politics over mechanics

Every organization has politics and its smart to keep on top of major changes as well as the movers and shakers of your organization. But if your professional relationships at work have become so entangled and complicated that they are keeping you from your work, thats a problem. Dont let politics become more important to you than the mechanics of your job.

8. Youve been overlooked again

Are your batch mates from school and college more successful than you are? Or is your company promoting people with less experience and fewer achievements above you? Figure out why that is happening. If theyre working harder and are smarter than you, then consider adding to whatever skills are keeping you from that next job. But if your company is overlooking you, then it might be time to go where you get more recognition.

9. Dont want your bosss job?

We typically envy our bosses not only for their higher salaries but also for the responsibility and authority they command. But if you dont aspire to be in your bosss position at some time in the future, then its time to look around and reconsider your career plans. You cant stay in your current position forever. Not everyone has to be the top dog, but a career path that promises advancement and satisfaction is a good road to be on.

10. Evil thoughts about your boss?

Ok, so all of us have some evil thoughts about our bosses every now and then. Thats normal. If you hate him or her as a person, deal with it. But if your professional relationship is troubled, then you have a problem. You have to work with all kinds of people, says Mr. Kuriakose. However, a boss who is always pulling you down, and maybe embarrassing you in front of colleagues, could be harmful for your morale and progress. Time for some introspection and perhaps an exit strategy.

Originally at http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2010/07/16/india-career-journal-10-signs-its-time-to-leave-your-job/